My First Experience At Parent's Day

Do you remember parent-teacher conferences as a kid? The nervous feeling you got in your stomach before your mom walked in to meet your teacher. Hoping and praying that the teacher wouldn't tell your parents about how you can't pay attention, you rather count the tiles on the walls, or kick your friends under the desk, or draw flowers on your test. That terrible bench outside the classroom where you had to sit with your classmates as your parents were just on the other side of the wall talking about you. I can distinctly remember my mothers face as she exited the meeting each year, only to hear as we reached the car "Your teacher says your a bright student but you talk to damn much."

Yesterday was Parent's Day at my primary school, the equivalent to parent-teacher conferences in the States. It was the first time I have met most of my students parents, and it was an eye opening experience. I walked into my classroom to see my counterpart, the grade 1 teacher, lecturing the parents on proper techniques for getting your child to do their homework. Technique #1: beat them. See what I'm working with here? haha.

Each of my students has a different story. They all paint a picture in my head. Such jovial, happy children on the outside, but inside they are hurting, fighting for life, struggling in a society that has the cards stacked against them. Their only escape from reality is school, where they are allowed to be children, to run, to play, to love. But I know these kids stories are ones I can't even imagine reading, and they are only a quarter of the way written.

• Little Jonathan with his bright eyes. He tries his hardest, yet is so far behind. His spirit lights up the room and his kindness penetrates through his classmates. He struggles to keep up on his school work because he rather let his eyes and mind wander the world around him. I meet his father for the first time and he shakes me hand with a smile, one just like his sons. He is trying his hardest with his son, but he lets me know he can't read himself, so he has bought posters and books for Jonathan so they can learn to read together. 
• MaQuace, the second youngest of 10 children. He has a brother or sister in each grade above him. He is the smallest in the class, but shows the most fight. He is well behaved in class, does his work, but struggles to maintain friendships. He kicks, bites and hits to survive, the youngest child syndrome. His mother comes in late, physically tired looking. This is her last conference, her 8th for the day. I can't burden her with the truths of her sons academic performance. Instead, I kindly suggest she work with him on his reading. 
• Mr. Junior, the leader of the class. His infectious smile hides his truth, "me mudda dead". Junior loves to learn. He says his mom told him he would be the Prime Minister one day. I believe her. His father attends our conference, one child on each arm. He beams with joy as we explain how well Junior is doing in Grade One. You can tell he is determined to raise up this child. I smile as he leaves the meeting because if I hear just one success story, I'm doing something right. 
• Beautiful little Hope, whose willingness to learn is often forgotten through her shyness. She doesn't say much, but I know she has so much she wants to express. I try to get her to smile every time I'm there, some days are successful, some are not. I know her families story, as its well known throughout the teachers. Her mom sells her only daughter to feed the family. At just 6 years old, Hope knows nothing different. The self control it takes for me to sit in front of her mother and update her on Hope's academic progress is one of the toughest things I've had to do in Grenada. As I bite my tongue and squeeze my leg, I let her know Hope is doing wonderful in school.
• Rambunctious Andre, whose in charge one minute, and tears the next. He brings me a wilted flower everyday to school, proud to show off his treasure. His homework is always complete and he is well dressed. In walks his grandmother, a hunched over, very aged lady. Andre straightens up the minute he sees her, he knows she is in charge now and he proclaims "Oh God" when she approaches. Grandma tells us she hasn't heard from his mother in months, she just dropped him off one day, never to return. Bless this woman's soul. 
• And little Cordel, whom we call rolly polly. His square shaped head and bowed legs makes for a cute little guy. He is well behind the rest of the students, but you would never know with his sense of urgency and commitment. He watches from the corner of the room as each student sits in the meeting with their parents. When I ask why his mommy or daddy hasn't come, he replies, "dey at wok, dey be here just now". They never come. 

Disclaimer: Students names have been changed for privacy of the individual. 

I could tell you 20 more of these stories, as each student has a unique story to share with the world. If I give these students of mine anything, I hope I give them a chance to be themselves without worry. They deserve more than this world can give to them, each and every one of them. Everyday is a struggle for them, but I can guarantee that I will never give up on them, I will give them a safe space to learn and have fun, and I will always be one hug away.

The Geography of Inequality

I spend a considerable amount of time searching news sources, I like to consider it one of my hobbies. If I have a computer in front of me, I typically have open a minimum of five tabs, 3 of which are news sources. I love the news. Its my connection to the world and my link to home. Some of my Facebook friends say "I wouldn't know what was going on in the world if it wasn't for your Facebook status." Some might take offense to that, I take the compliment. I always have the urge to post articles on this blog and rant and rave about them, but then I remember some big important bosses in Washington D.C. sit at their desk all day checking in on Peace Corps Volunteers blogs, making sure we are remaining diplomatic, unbiased and respectful. So, I post them to my Facebook page and call it good. But not today...

The U.S. is hailed as the land of the free, home of the brave right? We pride ourselves on the fact we are the melting pot of the world (unless you're from the Midwest), the leader of the universe and defender of said freedom. But what is freedom? The constitution, government and political leaders frequently consider freedom the ability for people to live their lives the way they chose, I disagree.

Center for American Progress, the Family Equality Council, and the Movement Advancement Project, in partnership with COLAGE, The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, and the National Association of Social Workers recently made a special report titled "All Children Matter: How Social and Legal Inequalities Hurt LGBT Families" The report states that roughly 2 million children are being raised by LGBT families, unless of course you live in one of the states where gay adoption is illegal (Utah, Louisiana, Mississippi, Michigan, and North Carolina), and that's a discussion for another day my friends.

The most interesting thing I found out of the report is the map of the top 12 states where same-sex couples are most likely to raise children. I'm sure you are expecting to see States like Massachusetts, New York and California right? NOPE, check it out...

Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, KANSAS, OKLAHOMA, ARKANSAS, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina and Alaska. 

Shocked?  Not me. Indeed, LGBT families are everywhere in the U.S., including the mountains of Wyoming, the wheat fields of Kansas, Sarah Palin's Alaskan farm, Sally Kern's Indian territory and even the mega church South. The interesting part of the list is that these families are choosing to live in some of the most hostile environments for LGBT people, States that discriminate on just about anything pertaining to LGBT equality. The laws of their lands are restricting them from some of the most basic rights, like making medical decisions for your family members...

The part of our countries discriminatory laws that really upsets me is when coming to parental recognition. In 35 states, parental recognition at birth is completely lacking. And the GOP says children should be raised with two parents, heaven forbid they be gay, because LGBT parents can't even be recognized on their child's birth certificate. Two loving people who want to bring a well taken care of child into the world have to fight to be recognized as that child's parents? That doesn't sound like freedom to me...

 

The report goes on to outline how these laws combined with social stigma create obstacles for LGBT families, focusing on three major topic areas related to the needs of all children: stable, loving homes; economic security and health and well-being. Some examples include:

• Children are denied permanent homes.
• LGBT families face unwelcoming health care environments.
• LGBT families face social stigma and discrimination.

The other two interesting points of discussion is the percentage of families raising children who live in poverty. Take away people's right to choose, and this is what you get....

Oh, and can't forget those lovely taxes that LGBT families recognized on...

The report does conclude with some positive driving forces for the LGBT parenting movement though, ones that I think will help fuel the law makers for LGBT adoption. Their recommendations suggest recognizing LGBT families (helllllllo, we're here to stay), providing equal access to health care and protecting LGBT families from discrimination. This report demonstrates the progressive approach the movement is taking to ensure every child has the right to loving parents. The Human Rights campaign is taking a positive approach to ensuring the protection and rights of LGBT parents all around the country with their All Children, All Families initiative. If you are interested in the work they do, check out their website at www.hrc.org. 

 

Happy Thanksgiving Greenz!

I always feel slightly uneasy when saying that phrase, but I think its appropriate to still say it. Why you ask? In Grenada, Thanksgiving Day is a public holiday that commemorates the anniversary of the 1983 Caribbean and American military intervention in Grenada. A joint military force arrived in Grenada on Oct 25th to restore stability to the country following the deaths of then Prime Minister Maurice Bishop and some of his colleagues. Depending on the person you speak with, it is either referred to as an intervention or the opposing invasion.

Its hard for me as an American (whose against our country going into others and taking over, oops did a Peace Corps Volunteer just voice her political opinion?) to celebrate this holiday with a country who is split down the middle on "invasion" or "intervention". Just the other day I had a man stop me on the street after he saw my Peace Corps shirt and say "Its about time you Americans leave us alone, we are making it just fine." But on the other hand, I think its my civil responsibility to be here in Grenada to show locals there are Americans who aren't coming in to take over their country, but rather work alongside each other for the common good of all.

Although the day is marked by some formal ceremonies, overall the holiday isn't really celebrated largely. There are no pilgrims, turkey and stuffing. OMG stuffing, my mouth is watering. Anyways, the holiday may not be celebrated to the extent the American Thanksgiving Day is, but we did get the day off from work, which is cause enough to appreciate the holiday. 

Happy Thanksgiving Grenada!